Memyselfandhi.

About all things awesome.

Craigslist Unemployment Wisdom January 14, 2009

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist,Uncategorized — K @ 1:20 am

I posted these on Laidoffinnyc too, but they’re too good not to share…

 

Unemployed man seeking a woman to share unemployment with:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/m4w/990009999.html

 

Artist seeking your rendered-useless business cards:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/wan/983692359.html

 

Unemployed dude wanting a free massage (haha):

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/bar/989539854.html

 

Hilarious post by Joe the Carpenter: (I couldn’t make this up if I tried)

“HAVE YOU SEEN OUR INFASTRUCTURE HERE IN NEW YORK ? PRIMATIVE ! EMBARISSING  1,000.00 TAX REBATE , I SPIT ON THAT “ 

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/bfs/990713838.html

 

Craigslist Inspirations September 9, 2008

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist — mallori612 @ 5:39 pm

The following is a DC craigslist missed connection:

Stephen, I know we are meant to be. Whenever I smell soil on a fresh English morning, just as the bluebells are in bloom, it reminds me of you. Do you remember buying me a gramophone? I miss you — I was so wrong about Simon.

Please write me.
-C

P.S. I live in a castle

Now, this missed connection is absolutely exquisite!  In fact, it instantly led me to devise a British romantic comedy plot:

A British young woman, Cecilia, is the daughter of English nobility and spends her days in her parents’ castle, working on her novel.  She is beautiful and smart, but intensely loyal to her parents’ ideas of properness and society, though she does not agree with them.  She is dating a gentleman, Simon, who has known her family for decades and works with her father.  He is nice, and wealthy, but rather boring and unimaginative.  Marriage is imminent, and Cecilia is not sure if she wants the life he would expect and provide for her.

Her parents often go away for long holidays and business affairs, leaving her alone in the castle for months.  They go away with Simon to attend to affairs abroad.  During this time, one afternoon while lunching and shopping with her vapid friends in town, she is struck by a witty, American waiter named Stephen.  There is instant attraction and witty conversation and he slips her his number.  After a few days of not being able to get him off her mind, she calls and their romance begins. 

He feeds the carefree spirit inside of her.  They picnic on the grounds and spend a great deal of time outside, enjoying the English countryside.  He takes her to explore the town and the city, and to live life like an average person.  They share a love for old music, and try to find recordings.  They are in love. 

When her parents and Simon return, she balances her duties to them with secretly seeing Stephen.  Simon tells her of his intent to ask for her hand in marriage from her father the very same day Stephen finds out he must leave England.  Stephen asks Cecilia to join him; he sends her a gift in the mail- an antique gramophone and writes to meet him at the record shop near the train station to Gatwick. He waits for her at the station, in a scene similiar to that of Rick at the Parisian train station in Casablanca.  She texts him that she is not coming, that she will marry Simon.  Stephen returns to his life in DC, heartbroken.

Cecilia, meanwhile, is trying to go about her life in England but has found it incredibly boring and cannot get Stephen off of her mind.  She writes.  After selling some of her short stories to a magazine, she realizes she can make it on her own.  She tells Simon she’s leaving him, writes a note to her parents, packs up her things and decides to find Stephen in DC. 

The rest is to be determined, but I’ve decided upon the cast:

Cecilia- Emily Blunt

Simon – Jude Law

Stephen – Joshua Jackson

 

 

 

 

CraigsList Treasure: Missed Connection July 31, 2008

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist — K @ 3:21 pm
Tags: ,

I came across this missed connection on CraigsList today and can’t help but wonder – and hope – that it’s about me:

Lady Drinking Coffee at Starbucks in Manhattan – m4w – 45 (Midtown)

I spotted you at Starbucks in Manhattan. You were drinking coffee.

I was the guy across from you, also drinking coffee.

Email me if you think it might be you!

 

Another Craigs List Treasure… June 9, 2008

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist — K @ 7:33 pm
Tags: ,

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/697782542.html

 

Yet Another Craigslist Treasure… May 28, 2008

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist — K @ 8:19 pm
Tags: ,

She seems a little standoffish. Does not get along well with children…seems to be an indoor cat”

 

The Game of Love April 15, 2008

Filed under: Treasures of Craigslist — mallori612 @ 7:29 pm

The following is a wonderful Craigslist missed connection.  It teaches us many things: romance is not dead; there’s someone for everyone; geeky guys can be adorable; a good pun is just good fun.

Dearest GameStop Girl,

When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.

You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I’d still want to share it with you.

Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.

So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I’ll just use this knife over here. I’ll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday – someday – you and me could be a Wii.