About all things awesome.

The Problem with A-Rod is Canseco was Right February 10, 2009

Filed under: News,Rants,Sports — K @ 9:03 pm
Tags: , ,




Alex Rodriguez did not need steroids. His natural athletic ability has been noted since his high school days, and he has never given reason for anyone to deny that fact in the twenty-ish years since. He is not Barry Bonds, who needed the record and so obviously inflated his body, and he is not Roger Clemens, who needed to delay the inevitable decline that comes about when pitchers age. So why did he take them? Why did the guy who is psycho about working out and eating right inject a random concoction of steroids into his body when he did not need them to stay at the top of his game?

Because he is A-Rod. Because he is the center of the world, and he will never be good enough for himself. Because he needs all the records, all the stats, all the awards. Because he needs more of everything; nothing can satiate his ego. Because up until 2003, he could get away with it, so why not? Because he was not going to stand by and let others juice and get closer to his level of play.

And really, what does this admission do, other than keep the PR staff of the Yankees busily employed in this time of recession and layoff? Most Yankee fans, myself included, have hated Alex for years. His me-first attitude and October failings coupled with his ridiculous pay and media stunts cemented our disdain years ago. Fans of other teams hated him as well. It takes a lot for fans of other teams to respect Yankees players; the Yanks are the big-money, big-talking corporate powerhouse that takes your hometown team’s best players and throws it in your face. A Yankee player needs to be very good in both baseball and character to earn that respect, and Alex was never that guy.

The only potential fall-out for Alex from this admission- Hall of Fame voting, a decade and a half down the line. This era has been ripe with PED abuse, and it is difficult to even guess what the standards for HoF admission will be at that time.

The potential fall-out for baseball itself? Fans have one less player to look to as proof of natural talent and ability dominating the game. Really, who is left? Who are the good guys left from the baseball boom of the 90s? Ken Griffey Jr., Derek Jeter?

The only thing the fans can hope for now is that the cheating is left in the past. Leave A-Rod and Bonds to the history books, and throw more attention on the feel-good story of Josh Hamilton, the scrappy play of Dustin Pedroia, and the successes of Evan Longoria. The game needs a little more Lou Gehrig and a little less Pete Rose.

(Blog by Mal)


Anti-spam word verification stress January 28, 2009

Filed under: Rants — K @ 3:55 pm
Tags: ,

I often encounter the same problem when trying to sign up for new websites, buy something online, etc. The anti-spam blocker shows two words in a box that are all squiggly and blurry and then it says “type the characters as you see them in the picture above” and I have to type them as they appear above to get through.  


But here is where the problem comes into play: Even though I know I haven’t done any wrong, I get nervous about spelling the words right.  Sometimes the squiggly letters look confusing, and sometimes an “a” might look like and “o” with a line through it, or the word is not actually a real word but a made-up word.   You get the idea.  I’m a smart person with good vision so I don’t understand why this presents such a problem to me, but it does. It’s unnecessarily stressful and I don’t like it. That is all.




I’m Mr. Green Christmas; I’m Mr. 101…. November 18, 2008

Filed under: Rants — mallori612 @ 7:23 pm

Lots of people like the winter.  They think snow is pretty; outdoor winter activities are fun, and wearing a scarf is lovely.  I do not agree.  Snow, to me, is just a reminder that I hate Canada.  Skiing, snowboarding and ice skating are just reminders that I am not athletically inclined.  I do enjoy pretty scarves, but they are merely a reminder of how freezing I am.  These reasons, among others, are why I am cranky in the winter, and you, dear loyal reader(s) should know this in advance.



How to Lose Your Dignity: Jarred Cheese

Filed under: Booze,People Mallori Hates,Rants — mallori612 @ 7:13 pm

I am a healthy eater.  I dislike sweets, and cook meals full of proteins and veggies.  Workplace snacks usually consist of 100-calorie bags of popcorn, and if I’m hungry post-dinner, I eat some cheese and crackers.  I don’t do fast food and I rarely drink soda.  Once in a while, I indulge in something particularly unhealthy but I always manage to keep it to a minimum.  Unless I am drunk, because then I am helpless.

tostitosqueso1I think there is a sliding scale of acceptable drunk snacking.  It depends largely upon the amount of drunkeness, and the surroundings.  Tipsy and at home is safe, because usually it just means I’m too lazy to put something together and I end up with crackers and water.  Slightly drunk and out is not so bad because it means pretzels at the store, or most often, planning what to snack on in the cab ride home and talking myself into just going to bed.  Absolutely hammered and home just means I’m going to pass out with some water and Advil; or maybe if I’m committed, I’ll warm up a couple pizza bagels or the frozen mac & cheese that has been in my freezer for 6 months.  Still, though, not too bad.  But then there are the times when I’m out and somehow or another, I’ve gotten ridiculously wasted. 

When this happens, all I want is chips and dip.  It is a mission.  In Chicago, I verbally (and almost physically) accosted a convenience store cashier at 2am because of the store’s lack of dip.  Chips and dip are a package.  Stores should not be allowed to carry one without the other.  It is rude and disrespectful to me, and dip producers when stores only carry chips.  CVS does this, and I always forget until I am drunk-eyed, pacing the aisles looking for some french-onion or ranch to complement my Munchos (mmm..they taste like delicious, salty, greasy styrofoam). 

After I go through the denial phase at the store, I move on to acceptance and try to find an adequate alternative.  I always settle on tortilla chips and Tortilla’s queso in a jar and it is quite the opposite of a good idea.  It is disgusting; and everytime I eat it, the next morning has me awakened with a gross feeling in my stomach and the knowledge that I probably took a month off of my life with every scoop of queso.  For the following 2 months after the queso, everytime I see neon orange, I will get pangs of guilt and disgust, leading me to hate myself and the Tostito’s company, and all that anger can never be good.


Wedding Music November 5, 2008

Filed under: Rants — mallori612 @ 10:15 pm

theloveboats1v1My mom is getting married to Stan on a cruise over New Year’s.  I’m happy because they’ve been together for ages and it’s about time they just make the thing legit (except in the eyes of my Catholic church, of course).  At first I was pumped, because they enjoy cruising so it makes sense, plus I get a free vacation to the Bahamas in the winter.  But now I’ve been tapped to help in the planning, and if there’s anything harder than trying to help plan a wedding for someone who lives 3 hours away, it’s helping plan a wedding that is taking place on a ship thousands of miles away with a person who lives 3 hours away. 


There’s all these excess things to do… like finding silk flowers because you can’t bring living plants on a ship and figuring out how to do the whole can’t-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding when everyone has to board the ship at the same time.  But my latest task is the music.  Apparently it is kind of a BYO thing.  My mom, of course, freaked out because she has no idea how to put together a playlist or even what songs to play.  My sister, Demon Child, was supposed to help but because she is a Demon, she flaked.  So, it’s my job now… which is fine… except I’m lost.


The hardest part about this playlist is that the number of people at the wedding is really small- like 20 or 25.  Therefore, the normal dance songs might not work because of a lack of crowd.  And forget about slow songs- I have no date, and a lot of guests don’t either so there would be a lot of awkward swaying and nobody wants that.  Then, there’s dinner music problems: we have no idea how long dinner will last, what it will be, or what the setup will be in the room.


So, if anyone out there has any suggestions, please let me know.  The only thing I have so far is a Britney Spears medley, some Earth Wind & Fire and the song “Rock the Boat.”


Don’t Eff with the Waiter, Pooface September 25, 2008

Filed under: Rants — mallori612 @ 7:38 pm

I’ve been working in restaurants and bars since high school, but the audacity of some people to harass servers has never ceased to amaze me.

Last night, while working as a cocktail server (at a hotel wine-bar, not exactly skeevytown) I was waiting on a table of two middle-aged guys.  They were nice enough and spoke vaguely with them, but pretty much left any convo to “would you like your martini with a twist or olives?”.  No big deal, right?

Wrong.  One drink in the guys and they were ridic.  I simply went over to the table to check on them and one of the guys; I’ll call him Balding; simply said, “you know, you are HOT”.  I thanked him for the compliment but he kept going on and on, asking his friend to tell me I’m hot, etc.  I started to feel uncomfortable and did not respond to Balding because frankly, what the eff could I possibly say besides “thank you”?  Well, then Balding said that since I did not respond, I must KNOW I’m hot, which makes me that much hotter.  This was followed by a diatribe on how hot and sexy confidence is…of course.

I avoided that table for a while; only going back when I saw their glasses were empty.  Then I was told, again, that I’m hot and was asked if I would be working the following day (today).  When I said no, I was promptly listed all the things Balding and I could do together.  I threw out the typical, “Oh, tomorrow I have plans with my boyfriend,” hoping he’d get the point and quit.

Of course not.  Balding asked for my boyfriend’s info so that they could chat.  He explained why he was better than my boyfriend, and why I should spend time with him instead.  Bear in mind that he had no idea who he was comparing himself to since he’s never met this boyfriend.  Meeting him would, in fact, be impossible, because I do not have a boyfriend.  In this situation, my “boyfriend” was a complete work of fiction (which, btw, makes him perfect and therefore uncomparable).  Anyway… I quickly got out of that situation and transferred the table to someone else.  It just is amazing how little respect waitresses and waiters get from their customers.  Saying things of that nature in an office setting is easy grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit.. why do we put up with it in restaurants?  It’s still our place of work and everyone deserves respect and comfort in their place of employment.


Politics as Usual September 9, 2008

Filed under: DC,News,People Mallori Hates,Rants — mallori612 @ 4:10 pm

I try to avoid writing about politics on this blog because I fear once I start, I won’t be able to stop and nobody will read this anymore.  However, lately I have thought a lot about the issue of “relatability”.  McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for his VP slot brought this issue to the forefront of my mind, because really the only reason he chose her was because of how she could relate to  the American public.  It’s obvious she is not exactly qualified, having no policy background and limited experience, as well as a questionable record in her state.  She was chosen because she is a working mother, someone the average American knows.

When exactly did being the average person become so important in American politics?  Quite honestly, I do not want the average person to lead the country- I want the best and the brightest.  Sure, being aware of the challenges that face the country’s people matter greatly.  But I don’t think you have to be the average citizen to understand the average citizen’s concerns.  As long as there is an awareness, I think that’s fine.

I’m an average citizen, I suppose, and so is Kerry.  I love Kerry.  She’s a great person, and someone I deem of very high intelligence.  But that doesn’t mean she should be leading the country, in fact I would argue that she shouldn’t (no offense), just like I don’t believe I would be capable of doing so.  Not a chance.  So why then, is the ability for a VP or presidential candidate to relate and be one of the Average Americans so important?  It makes me worried, honestly, because while other countries are being led by those with great intelligence and skill, we are getting excited about a book-banning hockey mom.