Memyselfandhi.

About all things awesome.

To Bee or Not to Bee? May 29, 2008

Filed under: DC,News,Pageants — mallori612 @ 7:38 pm

Every year, the smartest people in the country descend on DC to match wits against their peers, and now is that time.  That’s right, it’s time for the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

 

I really enjoy bees of the non-insect variety.  There’s nothing like a group of American kids getting excited about the English language to renew your hope in the future of the country. 

 

Back in the day I competed in my grade school’s annual spelling bee, but being that each class had about 18 kids in it, it didn’t get very exciting.  However, one year the two top spellers from St. Clare were invited to face off against the top spellers from other area Catholic schools.  I was knocked out after making the top 10, and it was quite controversial.  The word was “rationale” and I spelled “rational”.  However, upon review of the tape, it was proven that the announcer pronounced it “rational” when used outside of a sentence.  I was furious; my mom complained, but nobody wanted to re-do the competition.  It did however lead to a change in rules that I hope is called “Mallori’s Law” but I doubt it.  I was, however, given a trophy for winning a side competition in proper nouns, after defeating some little blonde boy with the correct spelling of “Czechoslovakia.” 

 

My only other bee experience was in the geography bee in 8th grade at St. Dominic.  I was the delegate from my class, and was put in competition with the delegate from the other 8th grade class and the delegates from grades 5 through 7.  I performed admirably, but did not place.  I blame this on being a new kid at a new school and having to be on stage in front of a ton of people I wanted to impress. 

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Slutty Toys April 1, 2008

Filed under: Pageants,People Mallori Hates,Rants — mallori612 @ 4:49 pm

bratz.jpgOn the list of things I hate in this world, Bratz has been close to the top for years.  I do not understand why slutty dolls make good toys, and I certainly question the parenting abilities of those why buy the dolls for their 6 year old daughters.   But, lo and behold, the powers that be have found an even more sickening product to shill out to young girls- Miss Bimbo. 

I don’t know where to begin… eh, I’ll go with the name. Bimbo, really? When has that word ever had a positive connotation?  Grr, but I’ll move on.  So, whatever, you’re 10 years old and you choose your “bimbo,” whose goal it is to win beauty pageants and social standing.  Great.  Let’s prioritize looks and partying over everything else.  Awesome.  But how do you win?  Well, you compete against other players for virtual money and use it to gain fame and attractiveness.  How, you ask?  Well, you use your money to get into parties, or to purchase new clothes.  Seems shallow, but harmless.  Oh wait.  How about using that money when given the task of going to the virtual clinic to get a boob job?  Or, buying diet pills? Yes, this is seriously part of the game.

I don’t understand why toys need to be slutty.  You want a shopping game- how about Mall Madness?  I loved it even though my character shopped at the Electronics Boutique and the Pet Shop instead of the pharmacy and the cosmetic surgeon’s office.  You want social standing- try DreamPhone.  The internet opens up a world of possibilities, but let’s stick to Tamagachis where kids learn to care for and nurture animals!  SO MUCH BETTER than teaching young girls that all they need is fame, fortune, a boob job and an eating disorder.

 

Camels are just like US March 31, 2008

Filed under: Pageants — mallori612 @ 5:31 am

camel707x555.jpgBecause the Middle East has nothing else to do with it’s time and money, this weekend the UAE hosted a beauty pageant for camels.  10,000 camels hailing from various Middle Eastern countries competed for 9.5 million USD (which is like 2 British pounds, or 9 million Canadian dollars before taxes/ a toonie after taxes). Also there were about 100 cars up for grabs, which is ironic because if a camel owner won the car, doesn’t that just mean he wouldn’t use the camel anymore?  So, the camel’s beauty is leading to its demise.  OMG, just like supermodels.