About all things awesome.

I Give the Election 5 More of My Sentences, and THAT IS IT. November 5, 2008

Filed under: DC,News — mallori612 @ 9:56 pm

Obama 2008Obama won last night by a landslide.  Do you know what this means? IT IS OVER. This 2-year bitchy, whingy, slapfest we call an election is finally done with, and I, for one, could not be happier.  Now we can move on to more important things, like actual policy formation and trying to get this country the hell out of economic ruin and war.


Politics as Usual September 9, 2008

Filed under: DC,News,People Mallori Hates,Rants — mallori612 @ 4:10 pm

I try to avoid writing about politics on this blog because I fear once I start, I won’t be able to stop and nobody will read this anymore.  However, lately I have thought a lot about the issue of “relatability”.  McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for his VP slot brought this issue to the forefront of my mind, because really the only reason he chose her was because of how she could relate to  the American public.  It’s obvious she is not exactly qualified, having no policy background and limited experience, as well as a questionable record in her state.  She was chosen because she is a working mother, someone the average American knows.

When exactly did being the average person become so important in American politics?  Quite honestly, I do not want the average person to lead the country- I want the best and the brightest.  Sure, being aware of the challenges that face the country’s people matter greatly.  But I don’t think you have to be the average citizen to understand the average citizen’s concerns.  As long as there is an awareness, I think that’s fine.

I’m an average citizen, I suppose, and so is Kerry.  I love Kerry.  She’s a great person, and someone I deem of very high intelligence.  But that doesn’t mean she should be leading the country, in fact I would argue that she shouldn’t (no offense), just like I don’t believe I would be capable of doing so.  Not a chance.  So why then, is the ability for a VP or presidential candidate to relate and be one of the Average Americans so important?  It makes me worried, honestly, because while other countries are being led by those with great intelligence and skill, we are getting excited about a book-banning hockey mom.


About Last Night

Filed under: Celebs,DC — mallori612 @ 3:39 pm

Last night, I had the good fortune to see The Kooks play at the 9:30 Club right here in Washington, DC.  The first time I heard the Kooks, they were just starting to get radio play in London, and I can remember sitting on a bus on my way to work at Portcullis House listening to “Naive” on my ipod.  I’ve been following them ever since.


No, the Kooks are not exactly innovative, or lyrical geniuses.  But, their songs are extremely catchy and the lead singer (Luke) has an unique-sounding voice and phenomenal stage presence.  They are wonderful performers, and each band member looks like they are having the time of their life whilst playing.  Also, they sound and act so very British, and as a bit of an anglophile, this excites me greatly.


The show last night started with the opening band, Illinois.  They were good, albeit a little strange.  They were all over the place with a weird “Dear Lord, if you’re listening, I’d like more hair” thing,  some country-inspired rock reminicent of 3 Doors Down, and then some rap-like thing.  Overall, very entertaining and very good.  I especially enjoyed the electric banjo playing, and believe because of this band I think banjo-ists are sexy. 


The Kooks came out in their typical British rock star ways, adorning their skinny bodies with extremely tight pants and v-necked shirts and a mop of dirty, long hair on their heads.  Paul was back on drums after an extended injury, so I was psyched.  I was also psyched that we were about 8 people back from the stage.  As for the music, they were awesome.  They played a mix of songs from their first and second albums, and interspersed their hits and popular songs so that even those who weren’t avid fans would stay pumped.  Luke is so entertaining.  He uses the entire stage, throws around the microphone stand, stands at the edge of the stage, kicks and yells and gets the audience involved.  During one of the last songs, he actually crowd surfed a bit, and was about 2 people away from me.  I could have gone over to him and been a part of the madness, but I feared the combination of my love of all things British and my love of dirty musician types would have led to sexual assault. 


Anyway, last night was awesome and if you can catch a Kooks show I highly recommend doing so. 


PS- I took some great pics and will post them later today.


Things You Learn from Dating June 19, 2008

Filed under: DC,People,Rants — mallori612 @ 8:56 pm

Dating has a lot of implications, and various experiences teach you things about yourself, and others.  But sometimes you acquire actual knowledge or weird habits that are with you for the long haul.  Here are some things I’ve acquired:

* Knowledge of Canada.  When I was dating a Canadian, I kept up-to-date on Canadian politics and current events, and every now and then I still check  Also, I learned about Canadian history and culture, and can name every province… ya, there’s not that many, but can you do it?

*Knowledge of Australian children’s television programming.  Last summer, my housemate and I “dated” (term is used loosely for a variety of reasons) a couple Australian blokes and after a night of intoxication, they showed us via YouTube clips from Australian children’s television shows.  Without them, I would have never seen Mr. Squiggles draw a giraffe holding an umbrella and for this I am eternally grateful.

* Restaurants.  I dated this guy Joe for a brief period of time and though the whole thing was a big mess since we kind of hated each other, we went to a lot of restaurants and I realized that DC has a lot of fun eateries.

* Adam Masterson taught me how to dress ridiculously and own it.

* Because of an ex, I use the term “muffin” often to express endearment.

* One ex taught me just how allergic to cats I am. 

* Currently I’m dating (again, term used loosely) someone who has made me consistently check out Indian women. 



This is Not a Joke. June 12, 2008

Filed under: DC — mallori612 @ 4:06 pm

There are 2 new products on the market- Obama Condoms and McCain Condoms.  Some highlights of both:


McCain Condoms- “Old but Not Expired”


Give your “troops” the protection they deserve, buy McCainCondoms today! This will turn out to be the ultimate collectors item or a perfect gift for grandpa! Trophy wife approved, for the proud liberal Republican- conservative Republican.

Obama Condoms- “Who Says Experience is Necessary?”


These are uncertain times. The economy’s a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid… but now there’s Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in! For the elitist penis, they won’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth.  For when you just want to close the deal.

How do I decide?

Are you likely to promote early withdrawal? Do you enjoy vigorous physical activity? Are you a young black man with a Harvard Law degree? If you answered yes to any of the above, ObamaCondoms are the right choice for you.

Do you get a rise from showing your patriotism? Do you like a little protection when you’re down in the trenches? Are you looking to stay in it for the long haul? If you answered yes to any of the above, McCainCondoms are the right choice for you.



To Bee or Not to Bee? May 29, 2008

Filed under: DC,News,Pageants — mallori612 @ 7:38 pm

Every year, the smartest people in the country descend on DC to match wits against their peers, and now is that time.  That’s right, it’s time for the Scripps National Spelling Bee.


I really enjoy bees of the non-insect variety.  There’s nothing like a group of American kids getting excited about the English language to renew your hope in the future of the country. 


Back in the day I competed in my grade school’s annual spelling bee, but being that each class had about 18 kids in it, it didn’t get very exciting.  However, one year the two top spellers from St. Clare were invited to face off against the top spellers from other area Catholic schools.  I was knocked out after making the top 10, and it was quite controversial.  The word was “rationale” and I spelled “rational”.  However, upon review of the tape, it was proven that the announcer pronounced it “rational” when used outside of a sentence.  I was furious; my mom complained, but nobody wanted to re-do the competition.  It did however lead to a change in rules that I hope is called “Mallori’s Law” but I doubt it.  I was, however, given a trophy for winning a side competition in proper nouns, after defeating some little blonde boy with the correct spelling of “Czechoslovakia.” 


My only other bee experience was in the geography bee in 8th grade at St. Dominic.  I was the delegate from my class, and was put in competition with the delegate from the other 8th grade class and the delegates from grades 5 through 7.  I performed admirably, but did not place.  I blame this on being a new kid at a new school and having to be on stage in front of a ton of people I wanted to impress. 


All She Wants to Do is Dance! April 22, 2008

Filed under: DC — mallori612 @ 6:57 pm

The libertarians are furious!  On Saturday night, about 20 dorks gathered around the Jefferson Memorial to take part in a silent rave in celebration of Thomas Jefferson’s birthday.  Head phones on, they started dancing around the memorial, just doing their thing.  Then, the police came and arrested one of them, quelling the dancing.  

I don’t get it.  Sure, it’s weird and silly, but they certainly weren’t doing anything wrong.  The Memorial is open 24 hours a day, and they were just dancing silently.  Of course the irony is that they were celebrating Jefferson, the most anti-authoritarian of the Founding Fathers, whose ideas were inspired by state abuse of personal liberty.