Forging on in the Quest for Magic Berries

As I have compulsively covered on this blog, my personal quest to acquire magic berries has been a long and arduous journey, one that sadly, is yet to come to a happy, flavor-tripping end. I’ve been waiting, and waiting, and waiting…but still no berries. NO FUCKING BERRIES! I wrote to Neel Shah…he wrote back that the berries would come in two weeks. Two weeks passed and still no berries. I wrote again to Neel…no response. I scoured the internet and found this useful article on NYmag.com, where others expressed their anger/sadness/disappointment at Miracle Connect and I was relieved to learn that I’m not alone!

After further research, I discovered that some have manufactured magic berries into tablet form, which are convenient as they do not go bad (but they dissolve on your tongue in the same way as the berries). Turning my attention to Miracle Fruit World, I was excited to see that although the operation runs out of England, it seems to be legit. They even offer refunds! And they have pictures. I checked out their ebay feedback and it seemed to be entirely positive, so I decided to place an order for ten tablets. Below is a picture from Miracle Fruit World’s website. I mean the pictures look totally normal…right? The Asian writing and phrase “mysterious fruit tablets” just made me want to buy them more. Because who knows if I’ll die when I eat one of the tablets or not. A person from Miracle Fruit world told me they should arrive in 7-10 days…I’m holding my breath.

(Image from Miracle Fruit World.com)