Yesterday I blogged about the series premiere of Living Lohan, and today, it’s finally time to discuss “It’s Complicated,” Denise Richard’s new reality show. First, we need to talk about the opening credits of the show…because it’s a voice over basically talking mad shit: “Denise Richards…whore, husband stealer, skank, bad mother, slut, gold-digger…” (you get the idea) and then just: “it’s complicated”. Well, I watched the whole show and dummie Denise only proves that she is all of the bad things the voice over says about her in the opening credits. Zing!
Here’s a little summary of what I learned from the first episode:
1) Denise Richards lives on a farm with her Dad and staff. Oh yeah, and her daughters too…but the staff and her dad are mostly just there to take care of her daughters so she doesn’t have to.
2) Denise is a hick who lives on a farm with about 20,000 dogs and some pigs, too. She seems to like her animals better than her daughters.
3) Denise has fucked a lot of men in hollywood and needs a website to reminder her of this fact.
4) Denise likes bad boys.
5) Every time Denise laughs on camera, I die a little inside.
That’s really all I gleaned from the first episode. Basically, in summation: Denise is a gold-digging hick who was blessed with a good body and Barbie-like looks. She’s a pretty sucky person, and in the words of one Toto: “its very difficult to suck so much that charlie sheen looks like the bigger person”. The end…not that complicated after all.