About all things awesome.

Too Drunk to be President May 30, 2008

Filed under: People Mallori Hates — mallori612 @ 7:07 pm


At first glance this looks like Scotch.  However, a campaign spokesperson confirmed it to be bourbon, specifically Makers Mark.  This makes sense as Makers is made in Kentucky, and Scotch is made in small, caucus-holding states that do not count.


SYTYCD- Season 4

Filed under: SYTYCD — mallori612 @ 3:02 pm

Last night concluded the second week of SYTYCD Season 4 auditions.  There are still a couple more cities next week, and then Vegas Week before we find out who makes it to the show.  So far, there have only been a couple dancers who I’ve been very impressed with, and I’ve noticed a sincere lack of female talent, but it’s probably more to do with what they’ve been showing rather than a pattern.  Two of my favorites thus far are Robbie and Brandon.


Robbie’s audition video has been circulating around the Interwebs because he’s just incredibly unique.  Take a look:


Brandon is an 18 year old contemporary/ballet dancer from Miami who auditioned right here in DC!  His body is so perfect, and his technique is simply astounding.  He could be this year’s Danny Tidwell, but just with a warmer personality, and an infectious smile.  Check him out:


To Bee or Not to Bee? May 29, 2008

Filed under: DC,News,Pageants — mallori612 @ 7:38 pm

Every year, the smartest people in the country descend on DC to match wits against their peers, and now is that time.  That’s right, it’s time for the Scripps National Spelling Bee.


I really enjoy bees of the non-insect variety.  There’s nothing like a group of American kids getting excited about the English language to renew your hope in the future of the country. 


Back in the day I competed in my grade school’s annual spelling bee, but being that each class had about 18 kids in it, it didn’t get very exciting.  However, one year the two top spellers from St. Clare were invited to face off against the top spellers from other area Catholic schools.  I was knocked out after making the top 10, and it was quite controversial.  The word was “rationale” and I spelled “rational”.  However, upon review of the tape, it was proven that the announcer pronounced it “rational” when used outside of a sentence.  I was furious; my mom complained, but nobody wanted to re-do the competition.  It did however lead to a change in rules that I hope is called “Mallori’s Law” but I doubt it.  I was, however, given a trophy for winning a side competition in proper nouns, after defeating some little blonde boy with the correct spelling of “Czechoslovakia.” 


My only other bee experience was in the geography bee in 8th grade at St. Dominic.  I was the delegate from my class, and was put in competition with the delegate from the other 8th grade class and the delegates from grades 5 through 7.  I performed admirably, but did not place.  I blame this on being a new kid at a new school and having to be on stage in front of a ton of people I wanted to impress. 


Denise Richards…actually not that complicated.

Filed under: TV — K @ 6:03 pm
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Yesterday I blogged about the series premiere of Living Lohan, and today, it’s finally time to discuss “It’s Complicated,” Denise Richard’s new reality show. First, we need to talk about the opening credits of the show…because it’s a voice over basically talking mad shit: “Denise Richards…whore, husband stealer, skank, bad mother, slut, gold-digger…” (you get the idea) and then just: “it’s complicated”. Well, I watched the whole show and dummie Denise only proves that she is all of the bad things the voice over says about her in the opening credits. Zing!

Here’s a little summary of what I learned from the first episode:

1) Denise Richards lives on a farm with her Dad and staff. Oh yeah, and her daughters too…but the staff and her dad are mostly just there to take care of her daughters so she doesn’t have to.

2) Denise is a hick who lives on a farm with about 20,000 dogs and some pigs, too. She seems to like her animals better than her daughters.

3) Denise has fucked a lot of men in hollywood and needs a website to reminder her of this fact.

4) Denise likes bad boys.

5) Every time Denise laughs on camera, I die a little inside.

That’s really all I gleaned from the first episode. Basically, in summation: Denise is a gold-digging hick who was blessed with a good body and Barbie-like looks. She’s a pretty sucky person, and in the words of one Toto: “its very difficult to suck so much that charlie sheen looks like the bigger person”. The end…not that complicated after all.


SYTYCD- Season 3

Filed under: SYTYCD — mallori612 @ 4:44 pm

After discovering SYTYCD during Season 2, I became a big fan and Season 3 was when the full-fledged love affair began.  This season saw Mary’s screams get louder, and some mini controversies about Wade Robson’s peace dances and Mia Michaels Marines jacket.  It also featured some of Season 2’s finalists in choreographer roles, which was cool.

My favorite dancer was Danny, hands down.  He is the adopted brother of Travis from Season 2, and is so effing awesome.  The judges consistently mentioned how his technical abilities were head and shoulders above the best they had ever seen on the program.  His leaps and turns were amazing; his skill unrivaled.  However, sometimes the audience did not take to him because of his standoffish demeanor that sometimes bordered on arrogant.  Danny was edged out of the win by Sabra, an exceptional dancer in her own right.  She had only been dancing for four years, which was ridic impressive and she lit up the stage with her exuberance and charisma.  She is also really tiny.  Other noteworthy contestants include Lacey, Neil and Hok.  Lacey is Season 2 winner Benji’s younger sister; she was good but lacked the personality that won it for Benji.  Hok is this Asian-British breaker with a funky hairstyle that really warmed my heart.  Neil was the third runner up, and he was a very eclectic dancer with a sweet personality.  Below is my favorite performance of the finale, which pits Neil and Danny as rivaling princes. 


SYTYCD- Season 2 Recap

Filed under: SYTYCD — mallori612 @ 4:00 pm

I am not an avid viewer of television.  I basically only watch LOST, and that’s it.  Unlike many Americans of my age and sex, I do not enjoy reality shows, even campy ones.  There is one exception to this, and it is my summer fling– So You Think You Can Dance.  This show is teh shit.  The judges actually judge; the contestants are phenomenal dancers; and the show avoids the over-the-top antics many other reality shows employ.  I will be blogging regularly about the show.


First of all, let’s rewind.  This is season 4.  I didn’t really watch the first season so I’m not really going to mention it.  The second season was great.  My favorite dancers were Travis, Allison and Ivan, in that order.  Travis was an adorable little blonde contemporary dancer who was exceptionally gifted- his technique was beautiful.  Allison was also a contemporary dancer, and she had previously appeared in High School Musical as a cheerleader.  Ivan was the wildcard- an accomplished hip-hop/breaker who managed to grow and progress each week in different styles of dance.  Other noteworthy dancers included Heidi, Benji and Dmitry.  Dmitry was a sexy, Russian ballroom dancer with a penchant for taking off his shirt.  Heidi and Benji were salsa dancing cousins who came from Latin dancing pedigree.  Heidi was ridiculously bubbly and it bothered me a lot.  She just always seemed like the fake-nice A+ overacheiver in high school. Benji was the fun guy who was able to bring his charisma to every kind of dance, and everyone just loved him.  Benji beat out Travis for the win, to nobody’s surprise. 


Mia Michaels won an Emmy later on in the year for her choreography of this performance- Travis and Heidi’s bench dance. 




Whatever Works…

Filed under: I heart Shelley Duncan,State of the Yankees — mallori612 @ 3:38 pm

I’m going to avoid blogging about the current state of the Yankees, because it’s pretty depressing and I’m just not in the mood to be depressed.  Instead, I’d like to mention the Yankees current MVP- Giambi’s mustache.


On May 4, Giambi had the lowest batting average in the majors, .150.  Since then, his average is .382 with a .507 OBP.  Did he change his hitting style? No.  Get back into the druggies? No.  He took advice from Matsui’s vast video collection, and grew a killer ‘stache.  His turnaround has been so dramatic that he is now giving advice to other players on how to kick their slumps- grow a ‘stache.  Johnny Damon has started, and so has Shelley Duncan.  Ohhh, how I’d love to take a ride on that!