Ahh, ♥Shelley Duncan♥. You were demoted through no fault of your own. ♥Shelley♥, baby, I was afraid you’d get sad. I was afraid Girardi had seen something that made him think your awesome playing was just a fluke. But no. You are still the upbeat, motivated, pumped-up cheerleader I’ve grown to love. And, now through 6 games with Scranton, I know that your bat is still awesome. 11 for 26 with 5 doubles, 3 homers, 7 RBIs? That’s just sick. Oh ♥Shelley♥ honey, you DESERVE to be in NY. You do. Girardi knows it; he said he couldn’t help demoting you to make room on the roster because it’s “a little funky right now.”
♥Shelley♥, you’re a great asset to a team- strong bat, can play a range of positions, and fires up the clubhouse. That’s part of why I love you. But I’m afraid there’s not enough of a place for you on the Yanks and you’ll be traded. Other teams are going to want you more and more. And then, yes sweetheart, I will be happy for you because you’ll get into the Majors and have a consistent roster spot. But baby, I will miss you. I just wanted you to know… I want to be Slammed by ♥Duncan♥.