About all things awesome.

April 7, 2008

Filed under: News — mallori612 @ 3:23 pm

In honor of Heidi Montag’s endorsement of John McCain, I’ve decided to rate the candidates based on the fashion choices of their children.

wclinton.jpgChelsea Clinton, only child of Hilary Clinton, Democrat

Hair lays perfectly with a great color and flattering cut: +100 pts

All of her outfits look exactly the same: -30 pts

She never wears her mother’s ugly paintsuits: +20 pts

Her makeup is subtle, nicely highlighting her natural features: +20 pts

 Total= 110 pts

obama.jpgMalia and Sasha Obama, the daughters of Barack Obama, Democrat

Fashionable and age-appropriate clothing (aka no Bratz! fashions): +1000 pts

They are effing adorable: +2000 pts

Sometimes they wear hair clips and bows: +500 pts

They are effing adorable: +2000 pts

Total= 5500 pts

John McCain, Republican, has 7 kids.  I’m just going to comment on 2 of them:

Meghan McCain

The most fashionable, and consistently wears trendy and cute stuff: +1000 pts

Takes fashion risks with hats, etc.: +20 pts

Overly flat-ironed, platinum hair: -100 pts

Accessorizes with Bud Lights bottles: +10 pts

Has the tendency to go a little overboard on the makeup: -100 pts

Blogs include posts on new shoes, etc., which is cool: +10 pts

Said blogs show how many cool things she can afford that I can’t: -500 pts

Total = 340 pts

Jack McCain

He is hot: +1000 pts

Like, really, really hot: +2000 pts

His smile is perfect: +1000 pts

He is really, really, really hot: +4000 pts

He is at the Naval Academy, so you know he is toned and fit: +1000 pts

Great hair, especially when messy: +1000 pts

Navy uniform. Sigh. : +3000 pts

Total = 13,000 pts

Winner is Jack McCain by a landslide.


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