Memyselfandhi.

About all things awesome.

Missed connections March 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — K @ 8:50 pm
Tags: , ,

Sometimes the world gets me down. I mean like today for instance…it’s a Monday and yet another rainy, shit day in nyc and to top it all off, I actually have to do some work. And I can’t even figure out if Brad and Angie even got married over the weekend…what the fuck.

But then I looked in the Missed Connections section on craigs list and found this:

You vomited, I fell in love. Saturday L Train to Union Square. – m4w – 26 (Union Square)

You kinda caught my eye at first but its not unusual seeing cute girls on the L train from Brooklyn. Then you vomited and stole my heart. The way the sick was reflected in your blue green eyes made my heart sing. The way you swallowed a bit to try and lessen the scene. My vunerable barfing angel. I know this is unorthodox but I’d love to get together and drink as much as you must have done on friday night, maybe we can hurl together and then… the world is our toilet basin.

Ahh…romance is alive.

 

Madonna Ruins Everything March 31, 2008

Filed under: People Mallori Hates — mallori612 @ 7:52 pm

casablanca.jpgThere is a rumor going around and it actually made me tear up.  Madonna. Remaking. Casablanca.

I am no movie buff.  I don’t really even like going to the movies or watching movies, all that much.  But I love Casablanca.  The story, the direction, the characters, the scenery, the acting- everything is perfect.  To me, it is the standard on which all other movies are compared.  Even the best modern actors could not re-do this movie and make it anything more than a failure.  You can’t top perfection.  But Madonna? Really?  I’ve never liked her (true story: as a baby, I would bop along to Whitney Houston but stand/sit still for Madonna) but this makes me feel all kinds of stabby.

Please, world, do not let this happen.

 

Lessons from SBTB: March 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — K @ 6:49 pm
Tags: , ,

“Pipe Dreams” – Airdate: 10/26/91The gang does a biology project with the animals in the pond out beside Bayside. Zack and the gang take care of “Becky,” an injured duck. Oil is discovered after a digging for a new goal post and an oil company wants to destroy the pond.

Lesson to be learned: Mother earth is crying…give her a hug.

 

Wild, Wild West March 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — mallori612 @ 6:35 pm

western_office_party_4.jpgThe other day I randomly ended up on the Oriental Trading website.  I clicked on “Workplace FUN!” and  was taught how to create a Western theme party in my office.  According to the picture,the party includes bandanas, cowboy hats, plastic “deputy sheriff” badges, an obnoxious white guy giving the thumbs up, a woman looking happy to be at work, and a black guy subtly leaning back in his chair as if to say “Howdy, pardner.” LOL, a company with the term “Oriental” in their name is trying to be p.c.

 

Once just wasn’t enough: March 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — K @ 6:11 pm
Tags:

From Fox News (natch):

BREMERTON, Wash. — A 48-year-old Kitsap County man was arrested twice in the same day by State Patrol troopers for drunken driving.

The Seabeck man’s arrest on Friday night was his fifth drunken-driving arrest. He was found to have a blood-alcohol level of more than four times the legal limit.

The State Patrol says the man also was arrested on Friday morning, when he had a blood-alcohol level of nearly five times the legal limit.

 

It’s funny when people fall. March 31, 2008

Filed under: Funny Videos — K @ 6:07 pm
 

Have a nice trip Paris… March 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — K @ 5:58 pm
Tags:

See you next fall.


 

Phrase of the day March 31, 2008

Filed under: New Phrases — K @ 5:53 pm
Tags:
As in to keep a low profile. Remaining opportunistic while those without foresight jump without looking and mostly fail and settle for less, in reference to business ventures, sex, and and all things green.
“How you living papi?…”
“…You know honey, I stay shy.”
“Yo son, there’s all types of ladies out tonight…”
“…Yeah true, but some be rollin’ wit VD. I’m a stay shy and bag a clean mommy”

“Look man these Enron cats be climbin in leaps and bounds…”
“…Listen kid, sit tight and stay shy cause dem boys is twisted”

 

Opening Day Musings March 31, 2008

Filed under: I heart Shelley Duncan,State of the Yankees — mallori612 @ 4:11 pm

n21200124_31216757_8938.jpgI love baseball.  I’m a girl, and a Yankees fan, so I really have to know my shit in order for people to take me seriously and not think I’ve jumped on the bandwagon.  But, it’s cool because I do know my shit.  That’s what being a fan is all about.  That said, here’s my random musings on the 2008 Yankees.

Joe Girardi has invigorated the team.  He has a hands-on, authoritative approach that will be extremely beneficial in shaping the young players.  The veterans respect him, and they know he doesn’t take any crap. 

OMG, young pitchers!  The Yanks finally have legit young talent, and so much of it.  It’s exciting, after years of trading prospects for veterans that didn’t always pan out (Pavano, I hate you. Oh, and remember Hideki Irabu? Grrr) .  Phil Hughes, a fellow WordPress blogger, is a future #1 starter, with a nasty curveball and great pitches all around.  Joba Chamberlain killed it in relief at the latter part of last season, allowing only 2 runs in 19 innings.  He’ll start as a reliever, which is probs very smart being that his stuff is very raw.  Ian Kennedy is the least-touted of the three, but has been the most consistent from the latter part of last season through spring training.  He doesn’t have the crazy power of the other two, but his accuracy is badass and he seems the most controlled of the three.  Speaking of young pitchers, I really want to just give Scott Patterson a hug.  He was just amazing this spring, but was sent to Scranton late last week.  I understand Girardi’s thinking- Patterson hasn’t pitched above Double-A – but the guy proved himself and was obviously quite upset about not starting out the year in NY. 

Oh, veterans!  Mo is still dominant, Jeter is almost digustingly consistent, and A-Rod, effing ridic contract in hand, is the best player in baseball.  Giambi and Abreu, in contract years, are looking sharper and more fit than they have in the last few seasons.  Mussina and Petitte have stuff to prove, hopefully they will, but ehh.. I’m not convinced.   Posada has a career year last season, and he’s still great, but it’s pretty much impossible for him to repeat those numbers.

Honestly, how the season turns out is largely dependent on the pitching.  Mussina and Pettite could go either way, and we don’t know how Hughesie, I-Ken and Joba are going to fare in the big leagues.  2008 could be amazing or it could be a disaster.  Let’s hope for the former, mmkay?

Lastly, I love Shelley Duncan, the winner of the BBWAA’s Dawson award for the best rookie in camp.  My love started last season, when he was called up and promptly became the Yanks’ #1 cheerleader, earning the nickname “Slam Duncan” because of his celebratory chest bumps, arm pumps and other displays of awesomeness.  My love affair continued this spring, when I went down to Tampa for spring training and was seated a mere three rows behind the dugout.  In a sea of Jeter, A-Rod and Posada chants, I yelled “Shelley!” loudly and with passion.  The first time, he heard but seemed like he didn’t believe it.  The second, he turned, waved, turned back, then turned around again, waved again and winked.  That solidified my love and one day, I’m sure we’ll get wasted and cheer together.

 

Camels are just like US March 31, 2008

Filed under: Pageants — mallori612 @ 5:31 am

camel707x555.jpgBecause the Middle East has nothing else to do with it’s time and money, this weekend the UAE hosted a beauty pageant for camels.  10,000 camels hailing from various Middle Eastern countries competed for 9.5 million USD (which is like 2 British pounds, or 9 million Canadian dollars before taxes/ a toonie after taxes). Also there were about 100 cars up for grabs, which is ironic because if a camel owner won the car, doesn’t that just mean he wouldn’t use the camel anymore?  So, the camel’s beauty is leading to its demise.  OMG, just like supermodels. 

 

 
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